After the Cowboys’ blowout losses this season, fans (including this reporter) shouted swear words. They kicked things. Threw the remote. And shed tears—maybe of rage, but tears nonetheless.
If the Cowboys lose to the hated Philadelphia Eagles at home on November 10, those tears won’t go to waste.
In an innovative marketing stunt, Louisville, Kentucky-based Fireball Cinnamon Whisky says it is “collecting the tears of losing rival football fans to create a limited-edition, fan-infused whisky that promises ultimate bragging rights next season.”
On Sunday, November 10, Fireball will have a team stationed near AT&T Stadium when the game ends, “fully outfitted in red hot gear and donning ‘Fireball Tear Collector’ uniforms for easy identification,” the brand says.
AT&T Stadium [Photo: AT&T]
Fans who donate their tears—from rage, defeat, utter depression or otherwise—will contribute to the creation of the limited-edition Crierball Whisky.
“In football, few things—aside from Fireball, of course—are better than the sweet taste of victory, especially when that W comes at the expense of your biggest rivals,” Danny Suich, global brand director for Fireball, said in a statement. “Our brand is all about embracing that competitive spirit, but amping it up with a little more spice. We’re on a mission to capture the soul of rivalries—AKA the tears of losers—at this season’s biggest games. The expected result? A one-of-a-kind whisky bottling that is sure to become the ultimate showpiece allowing for supreme bragging rights next season.”
How the stunt may actually work
So how will Crierball get made? The company says it all starts “by finding football’s most dedicated fans and biggest crybabies, so Fireball is going where those folks are sure to be: the most anticipated pro and collegiate rivalry games of the season.”
Every teardrop shed and donated “will be captured and stored in sealed, sterile jars, then safely transported to a secure facility for storing and distillation,” Fireball said. “All watery eyes are welcome.”
It’s no surprise to Cowboys fans that millions across the U.S. see them as crybabies, which gives this marketing stunt an extra jolt of anguish. But misery loves company: Fireball will also be gathering up tears next month at the Florida Gators vs. Georgia Bulldogs game in Athens, Georgia; the Packers-Bears game in Chicago; the Ravens-Steelers in Pittsburgh; the Auburn Tigers vs. Alabama Crimson Tide game in Tuscaloosa; and the Michigan Wolverines vs. Ohio State Buckeyes game in Columbus, Ohio.
“We expect the tears we capture will undergo a meticulous, months-long process of sterilization and distillation before ultimately becoming Crierball,” Suich said. “Our plan is to have this salty-cinnamon innovation ready for next football season so the victorious can hold last season’s triumph over their rivals’ heads for just a little bit longer.”
Of course, on November 10 it may be Eagles fans who’ll do the crying after the Cowboys beat them. If so, we’d like to put in an order for a case right now.
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R E A D N E X T
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Gannett, a former chief marketing officer for "American Idol" and "So You Think You Can Dance," launched Dallas-based Gannett.Partners to provide leadership coaching, operating advisory services, and strategic capital solutions. A native of Dallas who's lived in New York, he knows both cities well—and believes things are trending Dallas' way.
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